They say to start a story from the beginning..... I think that task would be a bit much for me so I will start from today with past details as they arise.

I am currently a mom of 2 teen boys, 1 pre-teen boy and a baby girl.  I also have an "extra" teen boy who lives with us- he is an added member to our family. Yep, that would be 4 boys and 1 girl - very busy house   :)

I'm 40 years old and work for the Government - Yes, it is a good job, but contrary to popular belief - we don't make squat.  We do have good benefits which is what keeps most of us where we are..... that and the current economic situation.  If you want to complain about government workers making too much $ - please point those fingers at the powers that be and not at us the little folks in the field.

I'm an only child of 2 very loving parents.  My father passed away in 2002 and my mother remarried in 2006.
My parents were married young, which was the norm in that day (1960's) and tried for many years to have a child... I finally decided to come along 7 years later - typical of me to come on my own time and not on another's expectations. lol
My mom and dad loved me with all their might and put me above all else.... even when they really shouldn't have.  I honest to God thought their entire existence was to serve as parents to my life..... Boy was it a rude awakening to find out otherwise! Heck I'm still struggling  with that!

I have a lot of family, whom I really don't know well.  So odd really.  I have 2 uncles, 4 aunts, 10 cousins and 13 second cousins (or cousins once removed).  All my grandparents have passed with the exception of my mom's mother.  We don't communicate with her though, which is sad, but she was extremely abusive to my mom as a child and has not taken ownership or asked for forgiveness to this day.  I forgive her for what she did to my mom, but I can't be around someone who could be so cruel yet have no remorse.
One side of my family is very Yuppie/Well to do, and I really can't relate to them at all.  The other side is more hillbilly and down home - now them there is my kinda peeps. I am not pretentious at all -  I don't care how much money I ever have, I will still go to the dollar store, still get big gulps and still rather have a down home buffet/potluck dinner with the ones I love than a sit down at a nice table with a 5 course meal and china plates ANY DAY.  I don't drink normally, but if I had a choice of wines.... I'd pick a Boones over a Monet (I only even now the name Monet because a co-worker told me about it)!
I do love all my family, however, and really wish we were closer.

I am a born again Christian, and I struggle daily to be a decent person.  Many people think you have to be perfect to call yourself a Christian - fact is there was only ONE decent and worthy person of being a Christian and His name is Jesus.  The rest of us need only to try to be Christ like with his love, mercy and grace.

I am FAR from a perfect Christian, but I am a perfect example of His love, mercy and grace.  I will NOT preach to you or at you - I will simply try to display HIS love through my actions and life as much as I can.  I will also fail at this at times and I ask for your forgiveness before hand. :)

So, you noticed there is no mention of a husband or boyfriend?  Well, that's because there isn't one to mention.  I've never been married and my committed relationships have been few and far between.  I think I would like to be married one day..... but it's very scary to me and I'm not holding my breath.  I can't blame men (although I usually do) for this issue, I know that once I am healed, I will be able to love and moreover be loved.

Which brings me to why I am starting this blog.  My hope is to strike a cord with young women in particular - to show them that they are more than their bodies, than their looks, more than what their bodies are capable of doing sexually. 

I will try to post often as this is just as therapeutic for me as I hope it is for others.

XO
Melanie